


smile

by awesomefatkitty



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Gay, Gay Male Character, Genderqueer, Genderqueer Character, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Heartbreak, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Nonbinary Draco Malfoy, Not Epilogue Compliant, POV Ron Weasley, Romance, Ron Weasley is a Good Friend, Unrequited Love, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:41:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27417448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awesomefatkitty/pseuds/awesomefatkitty
Summary: “I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to be sad today.”“So why are you telling me today then?”I guess I do want him to be sad today. Just a little bit.I’m not bitter, but I’m human.
Relationships: Minor Hermione Granger/Theodore Nott, minor Ron Weasley/Ernie Macmillan, unrequited Ron Weasley/Draco Malfoy
Kudos: 36





	smile

He wasn’t much of a smiler. He smirked a lot, he simpered, he even grinned on occasion, but he rarely really smiled. It was a shame, because his smile made him look so young and carefree – it was just a little lopsided, his eyes always seemed to sparkle, and my heart would stutter. He stood on the store’s platform, peering down at me a little nervously, his fingers fidgeting with the lapels of his coat, and I didn’t have to say a word before he knew how I felt about his outfit and his smile immediately lit up his face. He was breathtaking; he was always breathtaking.

“You look beautiful,” I said before I could think better of it and his smile grew.

“You think so?” he asked coyly, looking down at his own clothes, and I smiled at him.

 _Always_ , I wanted to say, but I didn’t.

“No one will be able to take their eyes off you,” I said instead. He scoffed and rolled his eyes, spinning to examine himself in the mirror behind him.

“Well I hope not, I _am_ the bride,” he insisted, running his hands down his sides as though to straighten his coat, though of course it wasn’t needed.

I never quite understood his fashion sense. It was more and more ambiguous the older he got, though some of it was really just creative. Like the clothing models wear on the runway that you would never see on an actual person on the street. It worked for him though. And the clothes he wore now were really just the most perfect thing.

He wore a fitted, sleeveless, ivory jumpsuit that ended just above his ankles. The top portion had a wide scoop neck and boasted an intricate pattern adorned with what looked like diamonds (and knowing him, probably were diamonds). Over the jumpsuit he wore a long-sleeved, floor-length, ivory suit coat with narrow lapels that hugged his upper body and then seemed to flow downwards from his hips. There weren’t any buttons on the coat; it was instead held closed by a matching ivory belt around his waist that clipped with a round, silver adornment that I think may have been the symbol of the name brand he was wearing. The coat didn’t close completely, enough of his jeweled top was displayed to show it off of course. He was currently barefoot, unsure yet whether he would wear heels or flats or anything at all. He would look luminous either way, I knew.

“This is it,” he said with conviction; and when he whirled back to face me, his coat swirling around his legs like water, tears were threatening to fall from his eyes. His smile was firmly in place, though. “My wedding outfit.”

“It’s perfect,” I told him and the tears fell then.

“Do you think Harry will like it?” he asked and my heart fell then too. I smiled anyways.

“You know he’ll love whatever you wear,” I said. “He’d marry you even if you were starkers.”

He laughed. God, his laugh. My heart sunk further, and I had to look away.

I didn’t mean for this to happen. I didn’t mean to be in love with my best friend’s boyfriend – _fiancé_. I didn’t mean to be in love with _Draco bloody Malfoy_. It just happened.

He was my friend first.

Well, he was Hermione’s friend first. But that was more by association. She was dating his best friend; he was part of the package deal.

It was much easier to stomach Hermione swooning over Theodore Nott than it was to handle Harry slobbering over my sister, so when I was too restless to stay inside I turned into their third wheel. At some point, probably because Hermione felt bad about it, I stopped being the only third wheel.

Calling it awkward at first was an understatement. When I first started spending time around Draco, it was downright strained. Uneasy. Tense. How else was suddenly spending time with your childhood bully supposed to be? But of course, I had grown up and it turned out Draco had too. We started playing chess while Hermione and Theo got lost in their own little world. He was brilliant. That was all it took.

Harry wasn’t close with Draco until he and Ginny broke up. They had spent some time together, awkward as it was, and then one night I came home late to find them drunkenly ballroom dancing in the living room of my small flat. It was not the first time I regretted allowing them unrestricted floo access. Ginny had just left Harry that afternoon and Draco took it upon himself to offer a distraction. That was all it took, Harry said.

When Harry asked me to help him plan the proposal, my heart shattered.

But Harry was my _best_ friend and he made Draco _incandescently_ happy. I would never ask them to give that up. I would never risk losing one of them, let alone both. So I set up lights in the garden at Grimmauld Place. I found the small antique garden table that had been auctioned off with Malfoy Manor half a decade ago. I made lamb chops with a cognac Dijon cream sauce. I learned a charm to make a harp play on its own – it cycled through the same 3 songs, but still. Draco looked radiant when he said yes. So did Harry.

And even though I was Harry’s best man, Draco asked me to come shopping for his wedding outfit with him. Hermione had looked at me with concern – because she knew, the only one who knew, but you couldn’t keep anything from her – so much concern that even Theo had turned to scrutinize me. I just smiled at her as I told Draco that of course I’d come. That I’d love nothing more in the world.

And now here I sat, gazing up at Draco with blatant adoration because I was allowed to. It was expected in this sort of situation. Watching him walk the platform, twirling just to watch his coat swirl around his long, lean legs, it was so easy to.

“You look beautiful,” I repeated.

~ ~ ~

It turns out, when Draco is in love, everyone should be in love. It also turns out, this means Draco should set me up with Ernie Macmillan.

“You’re joking.”

“What? He’s tall, blonde, and tan. Just your type.”

“He’s a Hufflepuff.”

“Is he?”

“You _know_ he is.”

“Well he’s grown up. I think you’ll like him.”

“Alright, you’re definitely taking the piss.”

“I’ve heard he’s a great fuck.”

“How’s Friday?”

He was a great fuck.

He wasn’t as energetic as he used to be. Still a bit posh, but I can’t say that counted against him. He was just calmer. Funny. A little suave. With incredible, strong, broad shoulders.

And he wasn’t upset when I called Draco’s name as I pounded him into my mattress. That definitely didn’t count against him.

“Call me if you’re ever over him,” he said after.

“Then I guess I should lose your number,” I replied. His smile was sad. I never called him, of course.

~ ~ ~

“I got the job.”

“Oh, Ron, that’s great!” she squealed, throwing her arms around me. She pulled back, grinning up at me. “When do you leave?”

“The first of the month.”

“What!? But that’s only a week after…” she trailed off, her smile turning sad.

“I know.”

“Have you told them?”

“Not yet. I don’t want to take away from their happiness. They should just enjoy their big day. I’ll tell them after.”

“They’ll be happy for you.”

“They’ll be a little sad too.”

“ _I’m_ a little sad too.”

“That’s different. You don’t break my heart anymore.”

“I think Theo knows.”

“You told him?”

“No, he’s just not an idiot. You’re incredibly obvious, Ron. You always have been.”

She’s not wrong.

I think even Harry knows. I think he just pretends to be oblivious because it’s easier. Because I’m pretending too; I’m doing him right. It’s only fair.

I don’t think Draco knows. I don’t know how he doesn’t.

That’s not true. His ego may be bigger than my flat, but his self-esteem is shot. He’s still surprised that Harry loves him so much. I’ve spent a number of nights reassuring him after their fights. He doesn’t know just how easy it is.

But Harry does. That’s why I think he knows.

~ ~ ~

“Are you sure you’re ok?”

So Theo knows.

I smile, straightening my tie. Both are a little strained, but how else do you get through watching the love of your life marry someone else?

Because to be clear, he is. The love of my life. Even if I’m not his.

“I’d break myself a million times if it means he’s happy,” I say. Theo’s smile is so sad.

“When are you telling him?” Theo asks just as the door in front of us opens.

Draco is wearing heels. They’re silver sandals, just a single thick strap over the top of his foot, and the heel is small. He still wasn’t as tall as me.

“Tell me what?” he asks.

“I like your shoes,” I tell him, refusing to look up from his feet. I know Theo isn’t talking about my feelings. Draco is his best friend. Theo wouldn’t do that to him, just as much as I wouldn’t do it to Harry.

“It’s my wedding day,” Draco whined. And he was whining, his voice was an octave higher. “You can’t keep things from me on my wedding day!”

I laugh. He pouts. I smile.

“It’s nothing. I’ll floo you on Monday.”

I let my gaze travel over him then. He looks luminous, just as I expected. He looks incandescently happy. Fuck, he’s beautiful. My heart soars.

“Are you ready?” Theo asks him. His responding smile is blinding. I think my heart stops entirely.

“Since I was fourteen,” he says. Of course. I know I never really had a chance. Then he reaches into a pocket I didn’t even notice existed and pulls out a faded, but extremely familiar badge. “It’s my something old.”

 _Potter stinks!_ glares up at us. It doesn’t shift away from the slogan, but it’s brilliant all the same. Theo laughs. I grin.

“What’s the rest?” I ask.

“The new is my outfit, naturally. The blue is the Himalayan poppies in my bouquet. And I borrowed your king.” From another secret pocket, he pulled out the black piece from my old set. My first set. It squirmed in his hold and chastised him for its current hiding spot. Draco just held onto him tighter.

My chest ached.

It felt like I was losing the most essential part of me.

“I’m going to New York,” I blurt out. I think his smile looked a little sad.

“You got the job?” he asked. I nodded. Theo looked back and forth between us. “When do you leave?”

“Next week.” He stopped smiling entirely.

“And you waited until _now_ to tell me?” Oh, he was angry. I didn’t expect him to be angry.

“I didn’t want to ruin your big day.”

“I told you to apply! I’d like to think I’m someone you share news like this with _immediately_.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to be sad today.”

“So why are you telling me today then?”

I guess I do want him to be sad today. Just a little bit.

I’m not bitter, but I’m human.

“I don’t know,” I tell him. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he looks disappointed. Theo is staring intently at him.

“You’re going to be so far away,” he says softly. I can see the tears welling up in his eyes and I step forwards, pulling him into my arms.

He buried his head into my chest, his own arms sneaking around my waist. I can feel him pressed against me, shaking, and I wrap my arms around him even tighter. I rest my face in his hair. It feels so silky against my lips.

“You can’t cry, it will ruin your makeup,” I joke. He’s not wearing any. He gently slaps one of his hands against my back, his laugh muffled by my vest.

“Git.”

“Berk.”

Harry cried when he walked down the aisle towards us. I think we all did. His smile was radiant. My heartbeat quickened.

I tried so hard to just be happy for them. I didn’t know it would hurt this much. I didn’t know I wouldn’t be able to even force a smile when I heard him murmur ‘I do.’ Thankfully he didn’t know. He only had eyes for Harry.

I left before they cut the cake. I didn’t see them before I left. I couldn’t.

~ ~ ~

_Harry misses you. I miss you more, of course._

I couldn’t stop staring at the text on my phone.

Draco had finally learned what a cell phone was. He called me earlier in the week, left a voicemail. And now apparently he knew what a text was. I didn’t reply. I won’t.

My new work friends took me out. They were incredibly welcoming. Maybe they just liked any excuse to drink. The pubs were open until four in the morning here.

There were also a lot of gay wizards here. Theo joked before I left that the best way to get over a person was to get under somebody else. I don’t know how true that is, but I’ve been trying. There are worse ways to mend a broken heart. I’ve even been avoiding blondes.

It doesn’t stop me from admiring the blonde at the bar. I can’t see his face, but his tee shirt is tight and his shoulders are stupidly broad so I don’t need to. I down the rest of my drink and stand up. My new friends whistle and cheer me on.

I think I’m really smooth, but I’m drunk so I may be imagining it. He’s talking to someone on his right so I slip into the space on his left side, leaning right up against the bar.

“Can I buy you a drink?” I interrupt and I think my voice sounds husky. It may just be hoarse. I’ve started smoking again.

The blonde turns to look at me and he smiles. My mouth drops.

“Hey, Ron. Small world, huh?”

“Ernie!?”

He’s still a great fuck.

I call him the right name. He asks me out to dinner. I smile.

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t have a beta; all mistakes are my own. Please leave comments and kudos. I hope your hearts are safe. ❤️


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